Journal

I Just Became THAT Girl.

2009-11-24T02:58:31Z

A couple weeks ago I was at a birthday party with my best friend and we were mingling about. I found ways to weave between the crowd and small talk with new faces. Have I mentioned that I basically fear small talk? Yes. I almost feel as if I do not know how to do it. A bonding quality that my dear friend and I both share in common is that we are Chatty McChatterson when you get us one-on-one or in a small group, but in a room we become cripplingly shy. It's funny because since I can portray myself and my voice through writing or phone conversations, people often expect me to be very outgoing when they meet me in person...but I tend to be the typical INFJ .

Back to this party..so we were walking around when I heard a faint little wimper. I pushed open the door and found two small sweet dogs in a quiet room. Of course, I couldn't help myself and had to trespass into someone else's room to go play with these animals. And it was then I made the comment... "Ashley, sometimes I think I love dogs more than people." One sentence and I became that girl. The one who shows up to work with cat hair attached to her clothes as if they were made of solid velcro. The one who asks her dog questions...and I don't mean rhetorical ones. The one who cries a bucket of tears while watching rescue stories on the Discovery Channel. Yes, I'm nuts, people. Take it or leave it.

Speechless.

2009-11-23T03:30:18Z

It is very rarely that I am at a loss for words. Today is one of those rarities. Due to my stuttering and sheer squeals of excitement I am going to leave this blog post pretty empty and just hand you over a sneak preview of three drop-dead gorgeous women I had the privilege of doing a shoot with today.

The Bucket List Gets Skinnier.

2009-11-13T16:06:33Z

Last night I got to knock one thing off my bucket list- Matthew took me to see Jewel in concert. She was by far the most entertaining acoustic singer I've ever seen. She had the audience laughing at her stories and you could have heard a pin drop when she began to strum that guitar. The audience was entralled.

On Sunday I get to see my musical crush, Glen Hansard in concert. I hope my husband will be understanding of my swooning. I mean, there's no avoiding it. It is going to be splendid.

Now that I've marked those two things off the list...there are a few more items left:

-Go to Iceland.

-Sing a song ALONE on stage (not just hiding in the background, as I've been doing for years.)

-Have twins. I realize I cannot control this. But it's on there anyway.

-Take my ASL test that I'm so scared of and become a dignified interpreter.

-Live on a ranch with a creek and own a blue-eyed horse.

-Try eggplant. It looks like a slug, but something about that purply weirdness is intriguing.

What is on your bucket list?

A Peek of My Latest Obsession...

2009-11-03T03:37:10Z

Growing up my mom always had antiques all over the house and she was just beyond fascinated with them. Old schools desks, handkerchiefs, wooden armoires. All I could think of them was that this bed was too creaky and all the people who had blown their nose in this hanky, but to her they were pieces of history that were worth more than treasure. They had a certain smell she loves and she often would say how she wished they could tell the story of where they had been and what they had seen some hundred years ago. I admit I mostly thought it strange and at times a bit creepy.

UNTIL I went into an antique shop myself. This weekend I don't know what came over me but as we were driving on our way to a shoot I impulsively told Matthew to pull over so we could go meander around an antique shop. It was love at first smell, touch, & sight. I stumbled across an old baby carriage and you would've thought my eyes had just spotted a Tiffany's diamond ring loose in a parking lot. And I got it for $25?! What! I also purchased an old piece of luggage for $2. I already see my love of historical belongings becoming a fast obsession. We may need to buy a storage unit if I get too out of control... which I totally have a tendency to do.

Without further ado, here is the maternity session I shot for my sister-in-law this weekend with the stroller making a cameo in the background. Isn't she one beautiful pregnant woman? I mean, for reals. We should all be so lucky.

Sometimes, I Just Need to Talk to a Woman.

2009-10-19T19:31:46Z

You know what I mean? I have discovered a little nugget of truth: Men are fixers. And some days I don't want my problem fixed, I just want a friend to tell me that I'm understood. I can be completely ballistic and unrruly and they will sit and listen to what I'm feeling. Men have a tendency to hear a problem and immediately seek a way to find a solution. But many problems can't be fixed and having a little comfort along the way is the closest we get to finding a fix. This isn't just with my husband, it's with my dad, my guys friends, brother, all people male.

I'm convinced this is one of the main reasons us girls have each other. We provide that system of support. And even just to have one kindred friend, is a bountiful blessing for me. I have a friend like that and last time I was in town I snapped some shots of her and Matthew took some pictures of us as well. We laughed and giggled at how embarrassed we were to be in front of the camera but it was fun. And I inevitably had 1,294 chigger bites the next day. But it was totally worth it :)

The White Flag

2009-10-11T20:41:48Z

A couple weekends ago when I was meeting with an old friend...they asked me about Matthew and I's relationship and said "do yall ever fight?!" I took it as a compliment that they even asked- as if to be a sign that we seem to get along well enough that they wonder if we do in fact disagree. I laughed probably louder than necessary and replied "Of course! We are human." And after that weekend, on our way back into Austin, we started up a small spark of a disagreement that shortly turned into a rampant forest fire. We fought through several small counties until we finally were ready to lay our guard down and learn to respect what the other was saying. Basically, it came down to me being stubborn and him trying to deal with me, which of course only fanned my flames at the thought of being handled like a small child.

But in our almost 2 years of marriage, I have learned the importance of having grace. And I do believe it goes for all relationships. It's so hard for our stubborn nature to lay it all out, especially at the risk that what we have will not be well-received. In the midst of personality-clashes it feels like it would take the strength of Hercules to put the other person's needs before their own, but really it just takes the strength of one humble heart. There are certainly times when I can't fathom anything but my own way as being right, but grace lends a hand and makes a path for understanding and even acceptance. It compells me to lay down my armour and wave that crispy clean white flag.

And after our argument, the rest of the way home concluded in Yo Momma Jokes said in the Moto Moto voice from Madagascar. Perhaps aside from grace, humility, and mercy... alot of it is not taking yourself too seriously?!

Have a Holidate with Me?

2009-10-09T20:52:10Z

The Art of Surrender.

2009-10-07T18:29:22Z

Every year of age I tact on my badge is another year I hear people tell me that "in life, you'll never have all the answers." Somehow I believed the notion that age would provide guidance. And the older I got, the more about the future I would know. However, it has panned out entirely different. Somedays I just want to throw up my hands and cry "MERCY!" And I think, if only there was a hallmark-like store where we could go to pick our own destinies. You'd just browse through the card aisles looking for the section that summed up your stage of life and most suited your heart's desires. "Married at 25," "House in the Hamptons," or "2 Boys and One girl, please."

But that's not quite how it works, is it? Rather most of our fate remains a mystery. It is a series of events that unfolds as time ticks and while we make choices from our heart, we never really know the end result that those choices will echo. But isn't that the very art of surrendering? Admitting that we don't know the answer, but still acknowledging the question. Trusting that in time, it will most likely be revealed - and even if it's not... we are safe in the arms of our Creator and the answers are safe in His galaxy-sized hands.

The most we can do is ask for our head to connect with our heart and trust that God will carry the rest. And He will. He does before we even think to ask.

Yeah, that's right. I'm about to go for the double-post...but sometimes I just can't pick between color/b&w.

**This was inpromptu shoot of the girls I babysat (+their latest edition). I starting sitting them about 8 years ago when I was just a kid myself. Aren't they precious? And this session was done right before dusk with my love-child of a lens, the 50mm 1.4. I'm still waiting to win the lottery and upgrade to the 1.2 :)

Do You Dare?

2009-09-29T17:24:19Z

If I had to sum up my year thus far in a question that I've most often asked myself, it would be... "Do you dare?" After living in the comfortable room I had created for myself for so many years, God knocked on the door and asked me if I dared. Do I dare to leave what I know as comfortable and safe? Do I dare to have the courage to find my talents? And most importantly, once they've been revealed, do I dare to pursue them?

The raw truth is it took me years to get to where I could even verbalize them. So talk of walking out of my quiet and familiar room, heading down the hall, and out the door into wide open spaces was a bit unnerving. But that feeling in my heart, that stirring... it's there for a reason. It's there to tell me that just around the corner is a world of possibility and purpose. And God has given me the key to it... but I believe He asks ME to unlock it. Because it is ultimately my choice and turning the key is a step noone else can take for you.

My little blog friends, be encouraged.

Take heart.

Each is gifted.

Put your key to use... we will all be better for it.

My Clever Friend...

2009-09-28T17:52:22Z

If I had to pick a photographer that has been my mentor through my journey thus far, it'd be Maile of Daily Relish Photography. It's not even that we talk "technical" but it's more like she gives me that gentle nudge to encourage me to keep plugging away. To hold my dreams in my hands and not place them up on dusty old shelves. I've learned the importance of having the courage to use your talents. And apparently she had a new talent up her sleeve that I did not know of : a designer extraodinaire! She designed the cutest camera bags that don't scream "fanny pack for professional photographers". I love that these could be used for a camera bag, purse, and even diaper bag (in the future...very distant future). I'm a practical girl, so as soon as I find an item that is multi-purpose...I'm in!

All this to say I'm so proud of her and I hope you guys will stay tuned to her blog or shutter sisters to keep up to date with the release of her fabulous camera bags!