Sometimes, I Just Need to Talk to a Woman.

You know what I mean?  I have discovered a little nugget of truth: Men are fixers.  And some days I don't want my problem fixed, I just want a friend to tell me that I'm understood.  I can be completely ballistic and unrruly and they will sit and listen to what I'm feeling.  Men have a tendency to hear a problem and immediately seek a way to find a solution.  But many problems can't be fixed and having a little comfort along the way is the closest we get to finding a fix.  This isn't just with my husband, it's with my dad, my guys friends, brother, all people male.

I'm convinced this is one of the main reasons us girls have each other.  We provide that system of support.  And even just to have one kindred friend, is a bountiful blessing for me.  I have a friend like that and last time I was in town I snapped some shots of her and Matthew took some pictures of us as well.  We laughed and giggled at how embarrassed we were to be in front of the camera but it was fun.  And I inevitably had 1,294 chigger bites the next day.  But it was totally worth it :)

The White Flag

A couple weekends ago when I was meeting with an old friend...they asked me about Matthew and I's relationship and said "do yall ever fight?!"  I took it as a compliment that they even asked- as if to be a  sign that we seem to get along well enough that they wonder if we do in fact disagree.  I laughed probably louder than necessary and replied "Of course!  We are human."  And after that weekend, on our way back into Austin, we started up a small spark of a disagreement that shortly turned into a rampant forest fire.  We fought through several small counties until we finally were ready to lay our guard down and learn to respect what the other was saying. Basically, it came down to me being stubborn and him trying to deal with me, which of course only fanned my flames at the thought of being handled like a small child.

But in our almost 2 years of marriage, I have learned the importance of having grace.  And I do believe it goes for all relationships.  It's so hard for our stubborn nature to lay it all out, especially at the risk that what we have will not be well-received.  In the midst of personality-clashes it feels like it would take the strength of Hercules to put the other person's needs before their own, but really it just takes the strength of one humble heart.  There are certainly times when I can't fathom anything but my own way as being right, but grace lends a hand and makes a path for understanding and even acceptance.   It compells me to lay down my armour and wave that crispy clean white flag.

And after our argument, the rest of the way home concluded in Yo Momma Jokes said in the Moto Moto voice from Madagascar.  Perhaps aside from grace, humility, and mercy... alot of it is not taking yourself too seriously?!

Have a Holidate with Me?

The Art of Surrender.

Every year of age I tact on my badge is another year I hear people tell me that "in life, you'll never have all the answers."  Somehow I believed the notion that age would provide guidance.  And the older I got, the more about the future I would know.    However, it has panned out entirely different.  Somedays I just want to throw up my hands and cry "MERCY!"  And I think, if only there was a hallmark-like store where we could go to pick our own destinies.  You'd just browse through the card aisles looking for the section that summed up your stage of life and most suited your heart's desires.  "Married at 25," "House in the Hamptons," or "2 Boys and One girl, please."  

But that's not quite how it works, is it?  Rather most of our fate remains a mystery.  It is a series of events that unfolds as time ticks and while we make choices from our heart, we never really know the end result that those choices will echo.  But isn't that the very art of surrendering?  Admitting that we don't know the answer, but still acknowledging the question.  Trusting that in time, it will most likely be revealed - and even if it's not... we are safe in the arms of our Creator and the answers are safe in His galaxy-sized hands.

The most we can do is ask for our head to connect with our heart and trust that God will carry the rest.  And He will.  He does before we even think to ask.

Yeah, that's right. I'm about to go for the double-post...but sometimes I just can't pick between color/b&w.

**This was inpromptu shoot of the girls I babysat (+their latest edition).  I starting sitting them about 8 years ago when I was just a kid myself.  Aren't they precious?  And this session was done right before dusk with my love-child of a lens, the 50mm 1.4.  I'm still waiting to win the lottery and upgrade to the 1.2 :)

Do You Dare?

If I had to sum up my year thus far in a question that I've most often asked myself, it would be... "Do you dare?"  After living in the comfortable room I had created for myself for so many years, God knocked on the door and asked me if I dared.  Do I dare to leave what I know as comfortable and safe?  Do I dare to have the courage to find my talents?  And most importantly, once they've been revealed, do I dare to pursue them?

The raw truth is it took me years to get to where I could even verbalize them.  So talk of walking out of my quiet and familiar room, heading down the hall, and out the door into wide open spaces was a bit unnerving.  But that feeling in my heart, that stirring... it's there for a reason.  It's there to tell me that just around the corner is a world of possibility and purpose.  And God has given me the key to it... but I believe He asks ME to unlock it.  Because it is ultimately my choice and turning the key is a step noone else can take for you.

My little blog friends, be encouraged. 

Take heart. 

Each is gifted. 

Put your key to use... we will all be better for it.